Home Parties

Ahh Home Parties.

You know the one, you have a friend who invites you to their home for a sales presentation, but you get free food and usually wine or coffee. You most likely know at least a few other people there and feel pretty good about getting out for the night.

I've been to a few, and admittedly, I've bought something at every one I've gone to. Sometimes out of feeling obligated, and also because I genuinely believed I would use the items I bought. I've gotten yummy spices (which I used about 1/8 of the items I've bought), cookware, make up and lots of creams and lotions.

I am not blaming my friends here, it's a fun time and I always enjoy getting out with the girls.

Last night I was invited to a party for something I had no intention of buying, a purse. First of all, I am a stick my debit card in my back pocket kind of girl. When I do have to carry a bag for the kids, I have very little in it for myself. I know ladies who couldn't live without their bags, and this particular purse was really REALLY cute, and you could interchange different covers on the outside so it was actually very practical as well. But for myself, I don't carry a purse when I don't have to. If I am lucky enough to get out on a date with my hubby, I ask him to throw a lipstick in his sports jacket pocket and sometimes my ID (although I haven't been asked for ID in YEARS for good reason) and that's about it.

That said, I actually declined the invitation because I honestly cannot afford the purse and my friend generously said, please just come and have fun, don't worry about not buying anything! Okay, so I went. I was completely honest with her, and myself. But oh boy, did I feel the pull! I was looking over the samples, and I was actually debating with myself if I could justify it! Justify over $100 for a purse that I would never use! That I didn't want! But that was so darn cute, and I was in a room full of ladies buying them and felt this *almost* uncontrollable urge to buy one! The purses were cute, practical and functional... And actually a very very good deal and I would say that if anybody was really into purses, and could afford it, it would be great! But I was shocked with myself, me! Who blogs about not spending money. Me, who declined the invitation in the first place, Me, who went into the party going "you don't need this, you don't need this... do not buy one" . And I was honestly considering it, the pull was so strong.

I cannot believe who successful these parties are. And I have always bought something before when I was offered "small " items that I could pick up at reasonable prices and feel like I'd gotten something of value to me (and admittedly most often didn't need or want or use).

I would be too ashamed to show my face on here if I did buy one, and I am very happy to report that I did not buy one. I left the party as I went in, purse-less.

What would you do with $1,000,000?

If I had a million dollars...

I would buy a cure for cancer. My grandmother had it and has recovered, and I have a special friend who has had it too and recovered. Now I have a beautiful, brave and kind friend who is dealing with recurrent breast cancer. On the surface, there is a sheen of positive energy, but below the surface there is fear and discouragement. And not necessarily from her... maybe it's from my own feelings. I am discouraged at what she is going through, and the thought of what could happen.

She is exactly the kind of person anybody would want for a best friend, she is quick with a smile, a laugh... kind to a fault, and extremely generous. She is a terrific mother to her 3 young children, and from the smile on her husband's face, a gorgeous and wonderful wife.

My own problems and day to day struggles are so pale in comparison. Maybe what we can take away from this is to not harp on our own problems. Yeah, so I'm pissed about my car having to go back to the mechanic... and that I'm broke once again... but I'm healthy... my children are healthy and my husband is healthy. We anticipate forever together. What if we had to face a future of not being certain of that? How would it be possible to be able to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward? But she does... and she does it well.

God bless you "B" and I promise we are all fighting together. Every cell in my own body is right there with you...

Money Pits

Oh how I loathe Money Pits. We all know them, and most of us own one. Whether it's a house, or a car...

We recently sold one of our old cars. We had two cars with similar mileage, similar age and we may have sold the "wrong" car. Both were old, both were running great. We put both cars up for sale and decided whichever sold first, sold.

Exactly one week after selling the car, the car we kept had the "check engine" light come on. My husband took the car into a mechanic, and $400 later, we got the car back. The car came home yesterday, and today as my husband was driving into work, the $%&*#@ light came back on. I cannot express well enough my loathing and gritting my teeth feeling here.

Once things start going wrong like that, it really adds up. The car was just in this week! And while you can think - well it was just checked out, so it must just be a sensor... that is a dangerous game to play. It's not a good idea to ignore the check engine light, as tempting as it can be.

While hubby is convinced it's fine, and it's running just fine thank you very much, I am now nervous with it. My husband has to go on a work trip soon, about a 6 hour drive away. He will be gone for many days and driving back and forth on weekends. So now that we cannot trust the "old car" he will take the "new car" leaving me (and the kids) home with the "old car". And that makes me so nervous. It's still winter here, and the thought of being left with an old car that is on the verge of breaking down at any moment makes me want to scream. To top it off, the road side assistance is on the "new car" and somebody thought it was a good idea to not buy me a spousal card for CAA.. "I'll always be there to bail you out". Uh huh, not if you're 6 hours away! I'm definitely not blaming my husband here, don't get me wrong. The one and only time my old car ever broke down on me, he was able to come bail me out very quickly. We make decisions that sometimes are not the best. I just feel frustrated at the prospect of (a) not driving at all due to nervousness and (b) driving and breaking down somewhere with the two kids in the car in the middle of winter. It's a short term thing, and for the most part the worst case scenario is that hubby breaks down on the way to or from work, and I come and pick him up or CAA does it for him. And I do have friends that I could call to help me, or a taxi.. But that does leave the car on the side of the road to deal with.

Once you reach a point where you don't trust your car, it's not funny. Driving becomes a task that makes you hold your breath. You throw money at it because you can't afford to buy a new car and take on yet another monthly payment. And we're at least a few years away from being able to make another car payment. But at what point are you throwing good money after bad? And what can you do about it? What if the next car appointment is more money than the blue book value of the car? What then? Will we need to become a one car household??? If spring would just hurry up at least my husband would be able to bicycle in to work (God Bless him, he bikes 30 kms one way to work!) and my fears of breaking down would be alleviated greatly because at least then I can wait (maybe not 6 hours) but I will be in a much better situation to walk or wait for help. Before you judge us for having 2 vehicles, it must be clear that my husband works 30 kms away, and I have two young children who need to be taxied to doctor appointments, classes, grocery shopping, etc... If we have to go to one car, I will need to get everybody up very early, drive Daddy to work, come home and get everybody out to school, then go back at the end of the day. Which I guess may end up being the solution, but it adds 60 kms a day to our travels, meaning much more gas, and wear and tear on the new car.

Ah money pits, have I mentioned how much I hate them?

Decorating on a dime...okay so a LOT of dimes..

I am very excited that tomorrow after work, my husband will be picking up my new bedroom art. It's been months now since we started this bedroom "redo" which I'm not sure is an apt name for it as we haven't touched it in 8 years since we moved in, other than to whitewash over a hideous peach paint job.

In any event, we have been looking for a very long time for the right item to put above the bed. We need something big, or a grouping of pictures. It's the one room in the house that I am not looking to cover with my kids' artwork. I love them more than life itself but their stuff and artwork covers 98% of the surfaces in our home.

In this one room we want a decidedly adult feel. Classy, serene, but cheerful. Working on a very limited budget, we have taken our time to get things "just right". We splurged on the bedding, got new furniture, and have cleaned out everything that does not belong in there. The room is finally coming together!

I have been frustrated in my search for the right "something" to put over the bed. I need something with a splash of color, something cheerful but not childish. And today I found it! I was surfing Kijiji, and lo and behold there was a grouping of canvas paintings of ... (drumroll please) Gerbera Daisies! My all time favorite flower! The group of 4 paintings is brand new, price tag, shrink wrap the works. The lady who is selling them had bought them for her baby's nursery and she ended up having a boy. She paid $90 and is selling them for $50...

Sticking to my budget, I only have $40 cash on me. I e-mailed her and offered to pay her $40 tomorrow, or $50 on payday (Friday) she accepted the $40 tomorrow! AWESOME! I did not give her a sob story, or tell her I could not afford it, but was just honest with her, I offered to pay the full amount, but she is in a hurry to sell, lucky me! I know it was just $10 but it's the principle of the matter for me, I only have $40 to spend until Friday, then I should only spend $40.... not $50.

It was difficult for me though, because I REALLY want those paintings, the picture alone cheers me.. and I was afraid of losing out, and honestly they are worth the $50 to me. But I feel great about just sticking to it, and being honest.

Enjoying the simple things

This is going to be a deep one... just a warning :-)

This morning I was cleaning my kitchen, and my two children (aged 3 and 5) were outside playing in the fresh snow with their doggy... I heard peels of laughter that I haven't heard in a long time. I looked out to see the kids laughing and the dog hurtling herself along full speed ahead, tongue out, looking as happy as I have ever seen her. I was content to have a few moments of peace from the kids and dog (knowing of course they were happy and safe) to put my kitchen back in order.

It hit me hard, the feeling of gratitude for having healthy happy children, a home to raise them in, the ability to feed them well (which was the cause of the kitchen mess) and the knowledge that we are secure enough in this lifestyle to not worry about foreclosure on our home, that we can always buy groceries. Also to be able to afford to live in a safe area, that our kids can play outside without fear( we do use common sense, our backyard is fully fenced and they were with the dog, plus I can see them and hear them) that the air is clean. To be able to e-mail my husband and say "our kids are happily playing outside with the dog, while I am cleaning up" and knowing he would smile on the other end...

All this is what is important, having a home (no matter how modest) to call your own, having a family that is taken care of, providing our children with security.

How money ties into this is that yes, it does cost money to live like this, but I didn't spend anything extra today (above utilities, mortgage, and food), I didn't have to buy them something to make them happy, they were not decked out in the latest greatest clothes, just warm ones. They were able to come in and have a cup of hot chocolate, some lunch and are now ready to watch a movie (an old VHS one at that), all of these things are just us enjoying what we already have.

was it worth it?

Hmm.

I have been feeling a little bad about not saving up enough money by "money not spent" and buying my new bedroom furniture by "cheating" by selling something instead.

However, I woke up this morning in a bedroom that was neat, clean and looks awesome even though it is not finished. I took a shower and opened up the wardrobe after and could see everything I own for clothes before me, and enjoyed picking out what I wanted to wear instead of searching through the overstuffed drawers, crowded shared closet and piles of clean laundry on top of surfaces in the bedroom.

So, yep it was worth the detour, it was "cheating" but it wasn't really because it wasn't "borrowed" money, it was just redirected.

I am sure we are back on track now, and am feeling good about it again.

No spending today!

I am not spending money today... I am not not not.

We walked to church today, and saved the gas! It helps that it's plus 5 degrees and gorgeous sunshine out there.

I am spending the afternoon reorganizing our bedroom (and folding laundry), so we can move the new furniture in there and get that much closer to finishing it. At least now it will have all the furniture and be functional again, we just need to paint it and get curtains now... and perhaps wallpaper one wall if I can talk Hubby into it... I want to put something really unusual and cool (haven't picked it out yet) and only want to do the one wall and then paint the others out in a complimentary color... but he won't get on board that train yet...

I was tempted to spend money on grabbing a coffee, or maybe even lunch (hey it's only $3 for pizza and a pop) but then $3 x 4 = $12. That means I would have to break a $20, and doing that makes the other $8 disappear somehow.

All my coins and paper money is safely tucked away today.

Fast Track to Ikea

Just came home from Ikea. We bought our new bedroom furniture (two new wardrobe/dresser combos) and it was a fast track. I had been doing so good about saving in my jar, and then we got so far off track that it was impossible to save anything. About a year ago we took one of our dressers out of our room and gave it to our son, and now we are giving that one to our nephew, and giving our son our current dresser. So for a year we have been trying to stuff all our clothes (and purging clothes!) into one dresser and a small closet. We have already invested so much money into our bedroom decorating (after almost 8 years, it was never touched other than a white coat of paint) that I am so anxious to be done with it and enjoy having a nice room.

So we sold one of our cars last week, and decided to take the money that was still needed from that money instead of building up the jar.

I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, I am extremely happy to be so much closer to finishing our room, and I really like the new furniture. But I am disappointed that I didn't save for it properly. However, I have a never ending "wish list" that I need to save up for, so I am sure there will be that triumphant moment soon. Just this week alone I saved $40 in groceries. While in the store it may not seem like much, but at home in a little glass jar it is a lot more than just cash, it's a tangible reminder of why I am working so hard to save money!

Back on Track

Hello All.

It's been a long 3 weeks, and I hope somebody out there will read me again.

I have fallen so far off the wagon, there is no way to catch up, and nothing left to do but start fresh.

The first 2 weeks were responding to crisis, a relative of ours died. Time stood still and we made an out of province trip. As you can imagine, the costs associated with that were high, but in no way would we ever reconsider it. It's just money... money comes, money goes, but your family is always there... until they're not and there is no amount of money that could ever touch that pain.

The third week, I went off track to keep my sanity. I had three sick children here, one of them borrowed from a friend for the week. I made more trips to the local grocery store than I can count. And once again, I would not reconsider it for a second. When I can bring some small comfort to a child who has been throwing up, I will do whatever I can.

This week, however, will be different. We're starting fresh. And getting back at it!

Bring it on!