Something borrowed and blue

My husband's Christmas party is coming up on this Saturday. We have gone almost every year for 11 years. It's amazing really, both that in this day and age he is at the very same job he obtained when leaving university, and also to see the changes over the years.

Thanks to some great friends, we have childcare all lined up (thanks again you guys rock!!!).
Those who know me know I adore children. My kids are my life, and I am surrounded by children almost every day at least for a few hours a day. And I wouldn't change a moment. Children bring sunshine to life. I could write novels about my love for children, and how much I like to be around them and hang out with them... from acting silly to cuddling at bedtime they are quite simply put my reason for being.

But every once in awhile I like to be a grown up and go on a date with my husband (whom I've been very happily married to for 10 years). There is a special pleasure in life to take a few hours and bathe, dress and make myself into a woman who is going on a date and not throwing on her jeans and comfy shirts. To have the luxury of time, a glass of wine usually accompanies me as I lock myself in the bathroom for awhile (don't worry we have 2 of those.. the kids don't have to cross their legs for 2 hours!).

This year, through the magic of friendship, I had the pleasure of borrowing a few dresses from a very thoughtful and sweet friend (one who if she were not pregnant is usually several sizes smaller than me) However, thankfully this friend holds onto her dresses and rooted through hers and found a few that fit me.

This years dress is both borrowed and blue. Blue velvet and it is very much *ahem* va va va voom.. Very Jessica Rabbit. Thank goodness I successfully completed last weeks detox diet!

I am so thankful for friends who offer dresses, babysitting time and the like... in one day I posted on a social networking site that I needed a sitter and boom.. done. And that afternoon I posted that I had found a sitter and needed to shop for a dress and then again boom.. done. (a few offers for each request by the way!). Although the Christmas party is a luxury and not a necessity in life, it feels so good to know that my friends have 'got my back'. Even though I know my friends are always there for me, this is just another example of a tangible way to see that. We live so far from family that it's these friends who have made us feel like family, like we belong here.. even if here is a thousand kilometers from where I started.

You just can't put a price on that!

The knowledge that if you find yourself in a building that is burning, a serious car accident or needing other rescue and assistance - you know you can call on your local firefighters, police force, and ambulance crew. You can't put a price on that. Sure if you live in a city, and your crew is paid, then you pay for it from your taxes. But what if you live in a small town.. a village? You rely on a group of dedicated and kind-hearted folk to do that job. For Free.

I'm talking about Volunteer Fire Fighters in particular. Because my father is one. He has been with the same force for well over 20 years. He keeps current with training, hours and hours and hours of it. He gave up many nights of Trick Or Treating with his kiddies to be at the fire hall just in case the local kids grew restless and started some fires. He wears a pager and he will drop everything that he is doing and rush to the scene. He fearlessly (although I suspect there must be some fear.. but he would never tell me that) dons his protective suit, helmet and breathing gear and walks into burning buildings on.purpose. He does it because he wants to help protect his community. Because he cares.

Recently in my small hometown (village) there was a series of unfortunate incidents. Some members of the group decided it would be a kick to purposely set fires. These were trained individuals that the whole community trusted with their lives. I cannot express my disappointment at that enough.. every fire that my father goes to fight is one more opportunity that he may not come home again. When I see that somebody purposely put him that position it outrages me. We're not talking about restless teenagers. We're talking about grown men - and one woman who was also involved.

I am not here to condemn them. I'm pretty sure they must already know it was wrong. And it's not my place to say whether or not justice will be served. Maybe it will. This post is not to judge, condemn or be angry.

This is about upholding those who do it for the right reasons, who continue to fight fires.. and that the community depends on. I recently watched an interview where members of the community stated that they had lost faith in the fire department. That makes me so sad... my father has worked for over 20 years to establish a sense of trust and community that for some has been wiped out with the foolishness of a few others. If you are in that small community and reading this - I hope that you will see that there are still many dedicated individuals who have been doing this for a very long time, not because they have to, but because they choose to. The countless nights I spent as a girl listening to the police scanner that we had - wondering if my Daddy was coming home... the accidents that he attended and could not speak of afterwards. I implore you to think about those things before painting the whole crew with the same wide brush stroke.

I hope that our little community will bounce back, better than ever.. and not let the polarizing effect that occurs so often come between them. May those who did it be held accountable, do their time, and move on - may those who, like my dad, continue to be there for the community be able to do so without the cloud of negativity following them around.

TV time

About a year ago, we cancelled our subscription to satellite service. We found it was much too expensive for us, because we would often use pay-per-view for movies instead of renting from the neighbourhood store that was a dollar cheaper, but would require we get off our butts and go rent a movie. As with most things, if you just have to click, you will spend much much more money than you otherwise would. (think online shopping!).

Sure we went through a bit of withdrawal. We used our PVR extensively. When we finally had an opportunity to sit down and watch tv, about 9:00 p.m. most evenings, we enjoyed having our favorite shows on demand, instead of building our schedules around tv.

Shortly after cancelling the subscription, we stumbled upon our favorite show's websites. Most of those sites allow you to watch full episodes online for free. Yes, you do have pay for more internet usage. But it still works out much much much cheaper. The very ironic thing is, we had a few channels we really wanted but refused to sign up for as they were premium channels and our monthly bill would have sky-rocketed. We quickly found out after cancelling our subscription that most of the shows we love are also available for free online on those sites. I won't give them away, but if you like home design, cooking, and new discoveries you can guess.

Also CBC and other similar sites have many shows that we like and we can watch the next day.

So - we don't get first dibs on the shows, and maybe they are a bit older, but we are watching even more television than we ever did before.. and we are loving it. We also subscribe to Netflix.. for about $9 a month our kids have access to all the tv they could ever want. And we often find movies we would like to watch too, and tv episodes.

We have taken our monthly bill from over $75 a month to less than $10 - I do have to figure out the extra internet usage but since we also go with a discount service for that, I know it's not much. Not only are we saving a lot of cash, we are also enjoying our tv experience much much more! And we are totally not slaves to tv-land scheduling!

Kitchen Reno

It is mid-November, we have embarked on a kitchen renovation. For 9 years I lived with a kitchen that was enclosed, I never liked being in there. The cabinetry was dingy and old, the fridge was a teenager and the countertop stopped being pretty in 1983. Nevertheless, we made do because that is what we had to do. It was functional enough but it never inspired us to want to spend any more time than necessary in that room. We did have a back door in the room that let in some nice light and a clear view of our kids playing in the back yard. I don't want to complain, I always felt fortunate to even have a kitchen of my own and food to fill the cupboards.

One of our big 'must-haves' when we were looking for our new home was a nice kitchen, or at least one that had the potential to be nice. I had always wanted to knock down the wall between the dining room and kitchen in our other house, but it was a structural wall, which would have meant a great deal of money and work, and asking for help. When my husband installed a wood stove in our basement, and put the chimney through that wall it squashed the dream for good (sorry honey, I know it was the only place for it to go.. I do..)... and when potential buyers came through the house, 7/10 of them said 'I wonder if we could knock this wall down'... if I was feeling really honest I would say 'no'.. other times I'd let them figure it out on their own...

In any event, I now have a kitchen that I love. I loved it the day I saw it, simple white cupboards (with no melamine in site, and no oak strip on the bottom!) nice ceramic tile floor, appliances I adore (and that work well, AND are from this century), the room is light and bright and I know I will love it forever. I do miss my gas stove (the one and only splurge from the old kitchen - and we sold it with the house...) but have gotten very used to the electric again.

If that wasn't enough, to already love the kitchen, we also knew we would be able to knock down the wall separating the kitchen from the large open dining/living room combo room. We are going to install a lower set of cupboards, and a countertop of course. We'll also add a small raised section to hide the mess a bit and add an interesting perch for the kids for breakfast, or for a glass of wine for our guests while we cook. The wall will have a very large blackboard/white board/cork board of some kind with the phone for our 'command centre'. The extra cupboard space will allow us to find a home for our various appliances we couldn't bear to part with but have never really had the space for. And we will also double our work space, and my dream - a place for buffet style dinners! I am so very pleased that I will finally have a kitchen I love, and be able to make it the true heart of our home, to have guests in and not be secluded in the kitchen, to have an open spot for easy conversations, and to have loads of storage and work space. I have simple tastes, it may not be everybody's dream kitchen, but it is mine.

Of course, to fit into my blog, I need to elaborate on how we are being frugal. Luckily for me, my hubby is very handy. He is an electrical engineer so he has no problem relocating electrical outlets and light switches. He also can easily identify structural things like knowing what is load bearing and such. This past Saturday while I was babysitting to pick up some extra cash, my hubby tore down the wall (and even cleaned up the mess!). He capped off the electric part and rebuilt the 'header' of the wall to match up with a part we are keeping (which helps hide the stove and keep it built-in). We will source the cabinets and countertop ourselves, and install them ourselves too. So just a little dry-wall work, and some basic installations and we'll be all set for hundreds perhaps thousands of dollars less than hiring a contractor.

Big kudos to my husband for this one - I have never in our 14 years together seen him not able to do something. Whenever he puts his mind to something, he can do it.. he amazes me and I am so thankful for him. From building satellite components (the real ones, up in space) to carpentry work, plumbing, jam-making, beer-brewing, to being an all-around great guy to be with... he does it all :-)

Batch cooking - pay off!

So we're embarking on an incredibly busy week. It's my first full week with the newest and littlest darling in my home childcare (who is currently sleeping). It's my daughter's very first "show and tell" day tomorrow which means she is a nervous bundle of energy. It's the first week of new sticker chart we're doing for our two kids so that we can establish the very best behavior in them. We're also doing a kitchen reno, finishing off our entrance-way, assembling a make-shift second kitchen, and planning Christmas.

This morning, determined to stick to my ideals (and my written-down, handed-out-to-parents-already lunch plan), I got up early, and made spaghetti for my crew. I happily sent my husband and son off on their merry (if very different) ways this morning with yummy home made spaghetti packed in their lunches. And my daughter and I and the little one will enjoy it for lunch too. Thanks to my big batch sauce making day, I had a little lunch sized bag of sauce all ready to go - I took it out last night to thaw in the fridge, hubby put the pot of water on to boil while I took my shower (and I found out that when one runs water at the same time as the shower, the shower turns FREEZING cold - but I digress...) and then I cooked the spaghetti while reheating the sauce, while packing the other lunch components. Easy peasy. I'm pretty sure I would never get up and actually make spaghetti sauce before 7:00 a.m.

So, while I'm still adjusting to our new routines, I'm feeling pretty confident we'll be able to do it all... if we can manage to stay organized.

Coffee Maker Part 2

So it's Saturday morning. And I have a brand new coffee maker.
Yesterday was payday (well actually Thurs. because the bank was not open yesterday) but since it was supposed to be yesterday we treated it as such.

My husband went out last night and bought the maker. He didn't see the maker I had mentioned at the store, it's possible they were sold out.

But what he did find was an even better coffee maker on sale from $89.99 to $44.99. For an additional $15.00 we got a better maker with more features, and it looks prettier too ;-)

After my initial frown at the higher price, I see that this maker comes with a permanent coffee filter. The same filter is $8.99 and did not come with the other maker, so I see a big value in that.

So folks, I now own a coffee maker, and therefore will end my morning coffee woes.
Happy Saturday folks!

Freedom - at what price?

Today is Remembrance Day. A day set aside to remember those brave men and women who fought in any way to protect our freedom. I remember them often, not just on this one day.

As I write, I am sitting in my nice warm house, on a Friday, I have breakfast on the go, and I am secure in the knowledge that on Sunday I will go to church. I know that if my children get sick, I can take them to the hospital. I have every right and freedom I could want or imagine.

I think about those who when they were younger than I am right now, gave up so much to protect those rights for me, and for my children, grandchildren and so on. How cold they must have been in those trenches, and how scared. What it would be like to die alone amongst gunfire and pain. How hungry they must have been and how worried their mothers and wives (fathers and husbands too) must have been. To listen to the list of the dead to be ashamed at their relief... or their grief when they heard a familiar name.

With courage in their hearts, fire in their bodies and conviction they fought... we lost many.. but they won. Because of them, we are free. I can write whatever I want to on here and nobody will shut me down, beat me up and throw me in jail.

Perhaps one side of this that is harder to write about is the loss of respect that I see around me.. when you hear of teenagers ruining Cenotaphs, to see how some of our veterans live in such poverty, or the apathy that some show towards this feat.

The very least that we can do is give a couple moments of silence to remember those that freely enlisted to protect us. To remember those that paid the ultimate price on the battlefield and those that were left at home to worry and carry on. Let's remember them with the respect they deserve.. bow our heads and say a silent Thank you. Then maybe - after paying those respects - find a person to thank in a more tangible way. If you know a veteran - say Thank You. Tell them how you feel. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I never told my grandfather how I felt about him and his going to war for me. He died in 2004. I have made sure to tell other veterans how I feel about them... since then, because I realized I may never have the opportunity again, as many of them are approaching 90. Don't wait for Remembrance Day, the next time you see a man or woman that you know who fought in the war, or stayed here and kept the home fires burning - say thank you.. and tell them how you will remember their sacrifices.

My children are being taught not only about War, but also about the courageous hearts of those who fought to protect us. They observe Remembrance Day with a kind of innocence that may be the biggest gift the Veterans have given us.

Thank you Grampie Mark Storey, Thank you Mon Oncle Jean-Paul, Thank you Fr. George Elson, Thank you Mr. Norman Brown. And thank you to their families. Thank you feels so insignificant, but please know that with my words, my heart feels them too.. My children will be taught about you and what you did... we will never forget, and we will always be thankful.

Thank you to those who are currently serving as well... for continuing this legacy and caring enough about me, and my children to keep us safe.

xo

Coffee Maker

Good morning!

Usually I like to have my "Good Morning"s with a side of coffee. For years, my husband and I had a coffee maker. Actually many many coffee makers. Our last home had hard water. We must have gone through 7 coffee makers before giving up. We became fans of the french press (also known as a Bodum). A french press makes fresh, strong coffee. It is undeniably very good coffee.

The problem that I've been encountering for the past few months since moving to our new home, I am feeling nostalgic for a real coffee maker. That appliance that sits on the counter so quietly all day.. and rests all night but then does this wonderful feat in the morning. With a few extra dollars you can buy one that is programmable. So one can prepare the coffee in the evening, and in the morning, wake up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee.. ahhh.

In theory, the french press is romantic and old fashioned, it makes superior coffee (I have no doubt)but in reality it's a different story. I like to get up after my husband, he wakes up just after 5:00 a.m. (on purpose) so that he can carve out a solid hour of quiet time, and coffee. That means that by the time I get up, he is onto the 3rd french press full of coffee. He adds grounds to the already used grounds (which is perfectly fine by the way) but it does alter that fresh brewed taste slightly. And my way in the morning is to have a cup of coffee (usually luke warm, if there is any left at all) then I have to get the kids ready for school, myself looking somewhat put together to not be that crazy lady with crazy hair at the bus stop.. then we need to somehow get ourselves out the door which happens almost magically every morning on time. Sometimes I get to pour a second cup of coffee to take to the bus stop, sometimes I will even warm it up in the microwave.
If I'm not working, I come home from the bus stop and pour another cup of coffee and enjoy it quietly. Sometimes I will boil the kettle and make a new press full of coffee, or a cup of instant.

I know this is a lot of thought put into a morning cup of coffee (or 3) but it's sometimes those minor things that can really make your day better. I have decided to go ahead and throw caution to the wind and buy a new coffee maker. One on a timer. A coffee pot will keep the coffee hot... and I'm almost certain my husband will leave me a couple of cups in the pot. All my morning coffee frustration will be solved by this. As I get up really early some mornings myself, I do really appreciate that aroma of coffee wafting through the house (which does not happen with the press) and all the hot coffee goodness that it provides. My husband is okay with this decision. I think he will always favor the French Press - but he will also appreciate the convenience of getting up in the morning to a freshly brewed pot. After all, he is the man who made a timer for our electric kettle so that it would be boiled when he got up... alas, that worked fine until it started smoking one day.. no more home-made timers ;)

But of course, this would not be a post suitable for Money Not Spent if I had of just ran out and bought a maker. No sir. I have been shopping around. I have noticed a vast array of coffee makers on the market, it's been at least 5 years since we've owned one, and they have changed a lot in those few years! There are coffee makers with thermal pots, coffee makers with several settings, coffee makers that take little cups of pre-made grounds with flavorings and make you exotic fancy coffees one painfully slow cup at a time. There are coffee makers that mount under your upper cupboard and are supposed to take less space but are actually 3 times the size of a normal maker. There are coffee makers that cost over $200.

In my search, I have found a very nice, 12 cup, programmable coffee maker from a brand I trust, for ... drumroll.... $29. This is not on sale. Regular price. Did I run out and buy it? Nope - I will make myself wait until our next pay day. I could buy it today, I have the money... in the bank. But I will wait a few more days, to exercise my mental control over cash. And I like it. I like really wanting something, and then waiting for it... when I go out to purchase it, I will feel good about it. I will not feel remorse for over-spending because I have researched exactly what I want, found it for a great price and the day I bring it home I will be really happy with it... and that is what this blog is all about. Controlling our urges to spend, and really getting a sense of where the money goes and enjoying our purchases to the fullest.

Entrance way makeover

We lived for 9 years in a house with an extremely small entrance way. It was a split-level ranch style home where you opened the front door and had about 4 feet of space which had to incorporate the door swinging open. You had to make an immediate decision to go up or down the stairs, and if you were not careful sometimes you made the trip down the stairs unintentionally.

Our new home has a proper foyer. It's still a split level home, but there is loads of space to come in, take off your shoes, hang up your coat and have a chat if you wish. No more awkward waving from the top of the stairs while others were coming or going.

The only problem we have now is that it is a very bland space. I believe your foyer is one of the most important spaces in your home. It is where you greet your guests, and it is the last space you see when you leave. It's the first impression, and sometimes the only impression your home makes when a person enters your home.

My husband and I have agreed that it is a space we need to decorate now. With my home childcare, I have many many pairs of boots, snowpants and coats to hang up, I have so many mittens to keep track of that I'm thinking of inventing a GPS system for that. While it's tempting to cram the space full of all the things I could not have in my old house, I want to keep the space airy and open. We have settled on a bench, some hooks, baskets, a mirror and one small shelf. We already have a closet in the foyer, so storage is not a huge concern.

After a search of many (many) stores, we chose a bench from a local classified website. It's a bit rough around the edges, but with a nice paint job and a slipcover for the seat, it will be very nice. We paid $20 for the bench. We already have some paint. The fabric will have to be very nice of course - so we will look through our stash first, but may splurge on something.

We've decided to keep the light colors on our walls in our home (at least for a while) and try adding splashes of color in the forms or rugs, curtains, art and throws, and then switch 'em up with the changing of the seasons. So we can make 2 slipcovers for the bench (and therefore extend the life of both).

Stay tuned for before and after pics, complete with a cost breakdown. Up next is the search for the perfect mirror.

Simple Day but Oh So Wonderful...

As I type this today, I am watching a little girl sleep. She is one of the children in my care, and today I just have her until after school, and then my group grows to five children.

Anyways, she arrived mid-morning and we went to the nearby park. She brought her own baby buggy and not one, not two, but THREE babies with her. I thought I did well with babies, but she has me beat ;-) We played at the park and came back and dined on sandwiches for lunch. I had PB and she had jam. We read a couple of story books and in the midst of my reading "Cendrillon" (which is Cinderella in French) she fell asleep.

Being with children is a great reminder of how the very simplest of things can be the greatest pleasures. As my own children grow and have become influenced by school and older friends, I often secretly lament the loss of those simple days. Sure my children still like the park, and walking with me, and having books read to them. But at their age, the like what we are doing, like having time with me, but they are also looking for more. The trip to the park is nice, but it's better if there are friends to go play with. They like lunch with me, but pizza lunch at school is far superior. My husband and I make the effort to keep our children's lives simple and to enjoy what nature gives us (walks in the woods, time outside, time together)and I do not think of my children as being spoiled or in any way have they become disenchanted with us, or us with them. Rather their lives are evolving, they are broadening their social skills and are growing up. And that is okay, better than okay, that is fantastic (if a little bit sad for their Mommy).

But I digress. There is something really magical about the younger set. This little girl today was happy to just be out walking... it wasn't about what was next, she was happy to push her little dolly stroller, to talk to the squirrels, to say hello to neighbors. Having lunch together was a real treat, it does not get any simpler than PB & J sandwiches, but it could have been 5 star dining to her.

I haven't spent a cent today (other than utilities and fixed expenses of course) as a matter of fact, I am earning money. I am earning an income, and I am able to stay in this suspended era of childhood. To be able to see my own beautiful children growing and changing and all the mystery and wonder that surrounds that is undeniably the best thing in my life and that of my husband's. But I find it such a treat to be able to spend my time being with children in different childhood stages as well. To go back and spend time with a one year old, or a 3 year old.. to revisit those stages with some life experience, that is so awesome.

A lovely memory for $2.00

This past Saturday, my family and I were out shopping at one of my all-time favorite thrift stores. It's a tiny and packed little store but it's filled with very cool and retro items. Every time I venture in there I find myself staring face to face with something from my childhood... or coveting a china set that I adore (14 settings!) which I can well afford (a steal at $15) but alas have no space to store it... yet, if I can ever find a place, and it waits for me, I will bring give it a new home and a new life. I did however, just purchase a very very nice, real china cream and sugar set as our creamer jug got broken in our move. I bought the set for $1.00. I often find myself under the debit limit of $5.00 and will ask the cashier to bump me up, that is how thrifty this store is! I know it sounds like it goes against my thrifty nature but I am not cheap.. The other day I bought brand-name jammies for my son, really really nice button down, grandpa-style flannel pajamas, and the cream and sugar set and it was only $3.00 - so I donated the other $2.00... the money raised in the store goes to support good causes so I feel happy with my donations and with my purchases (again, I love giving my cash to either regular people selling privately, or through small thrift stores, consignment stores and the like, rather than to Mr. Big Box Store Corporation, which does happen, but when I have a choice, I'll always choose to support the little guy).

In any event, on Saturday, while in the store, my son was searching for something to bring home. My daughter had spotted the display of dolls and was busily choosing the perfect one (which she said looked like Mommy... awww...) and I spotted a clown. I was transported to being in my bed as a little girl.. winding the nose of my clown and it playing the most beautiful music. This is a little stuffed clown, with a red nose that you wind up,he looks like he comes from the 70's but a quick search online reveals he was manufactured in 1968. I was born over a decade later, so I'm certain my Mr. Clown was also previously loved. Anyways, my son fell in love with the clown immediately, and also with my fondness for it. It appears he loves nostalgic old toys too - he said to me "I want to love it - it must be sad and lonely now..." Last night, he fell asleep to the tune. He did ask me how to 'pause' it - a sign of the times I guess.. he was sure surprised to find it did not require batteries (no seriously, where do they go?)
I remember my Mr. Clown so fondly, along the way it got lost as so many favorite things do. I hope my son enjoys many years of happy memories with his.

I got a trip down memory lane, an item for my son to cherish and to lull him to sleep (which he needs a lot of help with, he cannot seem to shut off his little brain) and we now own a nostalgic little (quiet) toy that I do not plan to 'lose' anytime soon. All this for... $2.00.

Have a great Monday.

Saying Goodbye

This weekend we say Goodbye to my husband's Aunt, Louise. Unfortunately we are not going to be there physically, we just came back from her home town, which is about a 10 hour drive away. We were so extremely fortunate to have the opportunity to visit with her... and my heart swelled with pride when my children made her smile.

I don't know how people are able to be so beautiful in spirit and calm when they are facing the end. For the second time in 4 months we have lost a beautiful lady to cancer. And for the second time I am struck breathless by their courage and ability to give us the gift of calmness and acceptance. To watch them fight so valiantly, and watch helplessly as cancer ravages their body.. to want more than anything to make them better and make them stop hurting, only to see it get worse and worse.. To see them so full of life and fighting spirit, only to watch as that becomes somehow transformed to gentle acceptance. And finally... to the point when the end becomes a blessed release from the pain, and an opportunity for rest.

I'm not going to get into their personal stories... both ladies were at very different points in their lives, both died much much too soon. Both were Mothers, Wives, Sisters and Friends.

What strikes me is the selfless beauty within them. I don't know if it is a conscious decision one makes when dying.. to leave behind the gift of courage. To leave us with a sense of hope and a glimpse of what may be coming in our next journey. I feel Louise with me, right now as I write. I see her smile, I hear her whisper in a raspy voice, "Je t'aime" and my weak-voiced and shaky "Je t'aime aussi" while fighting back the tears. I see her joy when we came into the room, and my son giving her a cuddle and the look on her face.

Perhaps what stays with me the most... is fiercely wanting to be that woman. At the end of my life, I want to be surrounded with friends and family. I want to have lived in a way that will leave my loved ones with so many beautiful memories they couldn't possibly pick a favorite one. I want to have no regrets, and to have a faith strong enough to be able to be ready for what is to come.

Merci Louise, for all your love over the past 14 years that I've known you.. for your example of courage in the face of the most awful and unfair circumstances in life. Thank you for your gift of reminding us of the beauty in life, the strength of family and of hope of an ultimate reunion someday. As the last words you said to me.. "On ne dit pas au revior.. on dit 'a la prochaine'." We will not say Goodbye, we will say "until the next time".

xo

Walk it out.

So, like most busy women, I need an outlet at the end of the day. I'd like to say I walk for exercise (which coincidentally it happens to be excellent exercise!) but I really do it for sanity.

Don't get me wrong, I love every.single.thing about my life. I love my family, my home, my dog, my work. I love all the aspects of it. I love the chaos of having a home full of children and a big goofy dog. When it's under control, I even like housework. All of these things contribute to my over-all well being and generally sunny attitude.

But at the end of the day, I need a little diversion of sorts. I need a few moments of not being needed. A few blissful moments of only being responsible for myself. I don't feel guilty about it at all. My husband gets up at an insane hour in the morning so he can create that same feeling for himself. I have friends that workout like mad for that feeling, some who go shopping, and some who take a bubble bath and go to bed early. Most of us also will indulge in a glass of wine from time to time. All of those things can be nice, and I like them too - but I get restless in a bubble bath, thinking I should do something productive. When I workout, I need to pay attention so hard that I cannot let my mind wander. Shopping is not a good form of diversion for me, as I don't like to part with my pennies... I do like to shop, but thrift stores are my thing, and my favorite ones are not open in the evenings anyways.

For me, nothing beats a good long walk. There is so much about it that I love. I get that peaceful feeling. I don't feel guilty at all because I am being productive, I'm being good to my body. I'm not spending any money. My husband and kids get a break from me and can do their own things without my hovering and getting in the way or unnecessarily worrying (often out loud) if an activity is safe and / or too messy. I come back refreshed and ready to tackle the bedtime routines and evening clean up before settling in with my hubby for some tv time.

My mind is free to meander just like my feet. I only have to pay attention to where I am and stay as safe as possible... I live in a neighborhood of great sidewalks, and good well-lit streets that are full of people.

I also love strapping on the headphones and the old-school iPod shuffle (yeppers!) and allowing the music to overtake my racing mind. I have a really eclectic taste in music, I currently have Marylin Manson, Allison Kraus, Tragically Hip, Metallica, Enya, Madonna and Gordon Lightfoot all happily co-existing on my music player.

If you want to be truly and totally frugal, you could skip the iPod and just sing. I've resorted to that before. Beware, you will get a lot of attention and bemused smiles from strangers.

Happy Trails friends!

More batch cooking...

So yesterday I was a powerhouse.. I've been taking these new vitamins for about 3 weeks now and wow.. I think I'm a changed woman. I cleaned the house, made a big batch of homemade chicken burgers, had after-school care, went for an hour long walk, came home, tidied up again, made my son's lunch for today and got totally organized for this morning's new before & after school kid. That was in addition to my usual duties and spending lots of time with my kiddies. T best part was when I was tired and ready for bed, I was able to fall asleep. I'm used to laying awake at night thinking about all the things I still need to do. Waking up this morning to a really clean house, lunch made, clothes ready, and everything done was such a treat. I was up by 6:30 and happy about it!

The vitamins are not cheap, but then again I don't think they should be. I try to eat a good balanced diet, but I find I'm usually lacking energy and my blood sugar gets really out of whack, and my iron tends to be low. I also often suffer from digestion woes. The new vitamins have probiotics as well so it's a really good fit for me.

Anyways, with the chicken burgers, it was SO easy. Just dig out the food processor, throw in some couple day old bread, onion, red pepper (or whatever you like) and herbs and seasonings to your taste. I used fresh parsley, and Italian seasoning. Then mix it up with the ground chicken (or beef, or turkey, or tofu..)put in a wee bit of milk, and an egg. I used 3 lbs or so of chicken because I was planning to make extra. I was able to make our dinner, and put away 16 burgers for the freezer! That's 3-4 more meals. And it wasn't any harder than making one batch for dinner. I am loving this. Feeding my family good nutritious food, and feeding the freezer at the same time. Before I know it I will have a freezer full of good food, and the hardest part about dinner will be having to decide what to pick!

I'd love to hear about your favorite big batch recipes!

Enjoy your day.

November already?

I have been waiting for November for awhile, then all the sudden it's here!

This is the month of a fun bonfire night with friends, the month we hope to find our next church and settle down, of course for Remembrance Day. It's the month that the snow will probably start flying in our neck of the woods.

I find November really is the month that feels like the time to start getting cozy, to settle in for the long winter.

I am very happy to say that this is the month that brings me employment. For the past few weeks I have had the good fortune of working for one family whose daughter is good friends with my own, twice a week she comes here after school. This week, I am adding a brother and sister team who will be here part time and after school. And in less than two weeks I will have a sweet little baby girl in my care, also part time.

Somehow, Lady Luck smiled on me again. For the month of November, I have 3 days 'off', I have 4 additional days when I'm just home with my daughter, and a few days that I just have after school care. I have a couple of days that I just have the baby, and a few days with 3 lovely little ladies here. I also get a couple of days where I will have 5 children after school, and one with them here all day! That 5 includes my own. I feel so very fortunate for this schedule. I love all those kinds of days. The days with all the kids here are fun, crazy and full of laughter. The days with my daughter are great, to spend that one on one time with her, usually involving cuddling on the couch. The days with just the baby at home, are quiet and cozy. And of course the days 'off' are serene and very productive. I do have a schedule I keep to when I have children here, but it varies so much depending on who is here. I love, love, love all the aspects of this schedule. I like the challenge of keeping it organized, I love caring for children and spending my days with them. I love being home for my own kids, and when the house if full of kids I feel like I am exactly where I should be.

The part that fits into this blog... without bragging, this crazy little schedule of mine will change our world financially. As we did almost 10 years ago, we built our world on my husband's income. That income *just* covers our life, mostly. The move was incredibly expensive, with the added surprise of the last minute furnace addition. We were as frugal as possible, choosing to sell our house privately, and also using storage containers and doing the lifting and packing ourselves. But when life gets as chaotic as it does during a move, you turn to takeout more than you'd like to admit. And you have lots of times when you 'just do it' in terms of buying little items that you think will make the situation better. Like the $50 worth of scented candles for the Open Houses... things like that. It all adds up. But it's over. We have moved, we are settled, and we couldn't be happier with our decisions. But just at the time when we are settling in, getting a feel for our new life, we are also starting to feel the pinch of the one income. And voila, just in time, I am employed. Deliriously happily self-employed.